Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Things That We Just Dont Get
Okay this topic today is about our lovely Wives, Girlfriends. I really dont get when my wife tells me that she has plans to do something that she plans with her friends almost a week early, in most cases I am always cool with that. This paticular time it was a great time for her to go hang because I really wanted to get some Xbox time in. You see we guys need that time every once in a while to recharge and recoup from some of just the senseless things we go thru as a partner from all the blind auto pilot listening that we have to do. So we cherish those moments, but then the day of the event your lady calls you while your in the middle of the second quarter of drilling some kid from Iowa in Madden to tell you that there has been a change of plans and now you have been invited to go to dinner with Her and some of friends instead. To put the topping on it you only have a half hour to get ready for it.... So do you be the charming guy that you can be and just say sure Babe no problem I will be there and go and absolutely hate the entire night. Or do you just turn into my good man Al Bundy and tell her exactly wht time it is? If you do that it could be the making of a possible two day Civil War between you two and they always want to whip out the Nukes... For me it wasnt worth that. I chose (A) I turned on the sure Babe I will be there mode. I just dont get that....
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As a rebuttal, men are just as confusing as women. What men need to realize is that women are not complicated, we're complex. They are not the same (because I know you're sitting there wondering what the difference is). I would tell you to get a dictionary and look it up, but that would actually involve you having to "do" something. And I don't want to stress you out -- after all, you need to save up the energy required to open up a can of beat down on a 12 year old in Iowa. And I'm still confused as to why you find satisfaction in beating someone who could be your child. The jury is still out on that one. Put on some pads and hit the field for real!!!!! But then again, I think you're too old for Pop Warner!
ReplyDeleteWhat I don't understand about men is why you take more care of your car than your own body. You have your car washed regularly, your oil changed every 3,000 miles, and your tires rotated or replaced when its time. But, My Love, you can't see for SH*T! You're 30-something and you've been squinting at your Xbox for years. You have get so close to the TV that you're almost a 3-D character in your own Madden game. I bet you can smell Chris Collinsworth's breath. Geez. Oh and nevermind the fact that you can't see the TV from the bed so you have to get up and stand directly in front of it(while still squinting) to see the TV guide. Would you please do the mature thing and go to the eye doctor????? After all, you pay for insurance - why not use it? I really would like my husband to be able to drive me home from the movies on our Friday date night. I know you can't see at night, but if your headlights on your car went out or were dim, you would replace those right away. Just doesn't make any sense. AND, I'm not even going to talk about how you haven't seen the dentist or the doctor since the Michigan Football team won the national title (um....that was in 1997).
On a positive note, you did the right thing by coming to dinner. It wouldn't have been a civil war, but you might not have had clean boxers the next day :)
Mrs Jones
Awesome! Just Awesome!
ReplyDeleteMike